Before this semester started, I was working as a summer school tutor for first graders. My job was to assist the teacher in the classroom and have fun with the kids. I was nervous when I started the job because I had never considered myself to be good with that age group. All my experience had been with middle and high school students.
It ended up being one of the most fun jobs I’ve ever had. I don’t know how to describe it, there’s something special about children at that age. They have this unfiltered curiosity I guess is what it is. To see what it’s like for them to be learning for the first time things that adults take for granted is very humbling. Usually when I see this happening, it’s wholesome and sweet. Watching kids learn to read is amazing and so rewarding.
I’ve also seen a darker side, where kids are learning for the first time how harsh reality can be. One morning, a student came in the classroom and told us her mom cries and cries but she doesn’t know why. Another incident in particular stands out to me. I have some self-harm scars on my arm from a long time ago. One day, one of my students pulled my arm and asked about them. I have a pretty standard lie that I tell people and I told him the same thing. He didn’t believe me, he said “no, you cut yourself like this!” and demonstrated. I was at a loss for words, I mean how do you navigate a situation like that? Luckily the teacher quickly corrected him and the situation resolved but it stuck with me.
It made me think about how much of our past carries into how we teach. It made me think about how much we share of ourselves with our students and how much of that is even in our control. It made me think about how I want to approach that if and when it comes up in the future.
Clearly, I’ve had lots to think about. But ultimately, I believe it will be experience that shows me how to approach situations like these. I learned from this instance, and I will use what I learned and reflected on the next time I am confronted with something similar. I’m sure I won’t get it right then either but I’ll learn from it again and eventually I’ll figure it out. I must remember these are things I’m learning how to do for the first time, I should keep the same mindset my first graders did and remain curious and open.
Sarah Sykora 